Category Archives: Romance

Valentine’s Day Inspiration; 10 Romantic On Screen Moments

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Well, tomorrow is the big day! This blog is really for you guys who are out there today–or worse, tomorrow–frantically schlepping around looking for the perfect card, box of candy, jewelry, or lingerie to let your girl know you care. Or, because there will be hell to pay if you show up empty handed.

Now, mind you, that is not a waste of your time by any stretch of the imagination. However, I cannot overstate the value of the following gestures acted out so brilliantly on silver screen and television. Because, guys, along with that overpriced ring and silly sappy poetry courtesy of Hallmark, this is what she really wants from you...

 

1) Rhett Sees Scarlett For The First Time

Look at her like she’s the only woman in the room…

2) “See…He’s Her Lobster!” The Ross & Rachel Prom Tape Moment  (Click Photo Below To View)

Do amazingly sweet things for her benefit, not for the recognition you’ll get for doing them…

3) John Cusak & The Boombox Scene from “Say Anything”

Say it with music…

4) William Hurt Breaks The Glass In “Body Heat”

Don’t be afraid of the grand gesture… ***Note*** For inspirational purposes only! Actual duplication of this one can lead to restraining orders and cancellation of home owner’s insurance policies. 


5) The Ending Scene Of The Notebook…True Love

Say you’ll love her forever and no matter what–and really mean it… Hint: Actions speak louder than words. 


6) From Here To Eternity, The Beach Scene

Kiss her like nobody’s ever kissed her before…


7) Any Scene From Ghost–Take Your Pick 

Self explanatory…


8) Sheldon & Amy Negotiate Love on Big Bang Theory

Compromise and give in just to make her happy…


9) I’ll Always Love You–Titanic

Give up your spot on the life raft for her…even if it costs you big time! 


10) Harry Declares His Love For Sally 

Love her not despite her flaws, but because of them…and be her lifelong best friend…

 

Good luck, guys….And Happy Valentine’s Day! 

 

 

 

 

 

The Beginning Of The End Of The Cougar Trend?

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Cougar, Before Cougar Was Cool

A couple of years ago, I wrote a member contribution article for MORE Magazine: Multiculturalism And The Cougar Please don’t be impressed–you shouldn’t be. Anyone who signs up with MORE online as a member can write and submit articles for their online site, so trust me, I’m nothing special there. In the article, I offer my own observations and theories about the so called “Cougar” trend, completely invalid scientifically, as always. I was taking a course in multiculturalism at the time and it occurred to me that while there seemed to be an uptick in middle aged women dating young men that was getting a lot of attention, this particular phenomenon always seemed to be characterized by said middle aged romantic partner looking/acting/being anything but what she really was–a 40+ female. This is a reality which is in direct opposition to the concept of multiculturalism, in which differences are embraced, even emphasized, and thought of as equally desirable to the former ideal. I do this a lot actually when I’m taking a class–when immersed in a lot of hard facts and academic research, I whimsically apply what I’ve learned to pop culture, probably to stave off boredom and narcolepsy during class. This was especially puzzling, albeit entertaining to my decidedly left brained Armenian astrophysicist professor when I took Astronomy during my undergrad adventures. Needless to say, I didn’t take a lot of hard science in school–only what I had to have to graduate. 

At any rate, I thought I was onto something then, and today, with the tabloid and social media rumor mill working overtime to cover a possible Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher split due to his alleged serial cheating with young college aged women, the buzzers are going off again. Now, first of all, who knows if there is truth to this story or not? Nobody, that’s who. None of us knows what really goes on in relationships outside our own, and that goes double for celebrity gossip that is often spun up by tabloid “journalists” on slow days, or even the stars’ own publicists when increased attention is needed to promote this or that new project. This could certainly be the case here, as both halves of this May/December couple have something new to promote right about now. But, that’s not the point. The point is that, given the nature of the Cougar trend, this is a very plausible outcome…

It’s my opinion that in the vast majority of relationships, the Cougar/Cub (god help me) thing is simply not built to last. Certainly, “women of a certain age” can be very attractive, even to much younger men. Why wouldn’t they be? Women who take care of their appearance can be beautiful at any age. And here I’ll insert a very Kelso-esque exclamation–DUH! But, it’s my feeling that a fleeting (and flattering) sexual attraction does not a lasting relationship make. Those natural, healthy differences between people with 15 or more years difference in their ages will always come back to bite them in that body part that you can bounce a quarter off of–in the case of Ashton’s 23 year old alleged girlfriends, that is. This is particularly true when the younger man, as in Kutcher’s case, doesn’t even act his own age (33), instead his public behaviors resemble that of his former television character, Michael Kelso, a high school student who was none too bright to boot. I’m just a couple of years shy of Demi Moore’s age. She’s 48 and I’m 46, and he strikes me as really immature, perpetually partying, punking people sophomoric-ally….cheating or not, living with him and being his wife would get on my nerves pretty quick.

For the past several years, I’ve seen a lot of media that holds this twosome up as some sort of golden couple…a shining example of how and why the Cougar trend is here to stay, and something that middle aged women should aspire to. But, in reality, what I see is that it doesn’t really work as well as they’d like to believe it does. As I covered in my piece for More.com, the only way it works to begin with is if the older female half of the equation spends an indefinite amount of time and energy on convincing herself, and everyone else, that she’s something she’s not. Can a 40+ year old woman be attractive…”hot” even? That goes without saying. Can a 40+ year old woman be happy in a relationship with a man many years her junior, long term? The answer is maybe, but I rather doubt it. And it’s for those reasons I mentioned in the article–an atmosphere of multiculturalism is not yet present when it comes to middle aged women. Meaning those of us willing to admit that we are 40+ in every way, including all the inevitable changes in our looks, our personalities, child-bearing inclinations and capabilities, our entertainment and lifestyle preferences, etc.


Cartoon by Jeff Berry, http://berrystudio.blogspot.com/

The reality is that people do change as they age. A 23 year old woman isn’t really the same as a 43 year old woman, just like a 43 year old woman isn’t the same as a 63 year old woman. And despite what popular media would have us all believe, it really is a rare romantic relationship with a multi year age difference that will work long term without the older woman exhaustively working to be 40+, but look and behave only 18+. And that’s sad, for all concerned. Over the last couple of years especially, I’ve watched Demi Moore age, yet frantically diet and exercise to the point of being thinner than she ought to be, constantly tweet sexy photos of herself, and in general try to project an image that she naturally exuded as a 23 year old–when she was 23. And what it looks like to me is part of an overall futile, and I believe completely unnecessary campaign to hang on to that infamous Cougar/Cub relationship of hers. Not to say that these two don’t have a deep affection for one another, which they may genuinely share. 

This makes me sad because I think Demi Moore is better than this. We all are. I hope that she sees herself as she really is, and lets her middle age flag fly in all its glory. That would serve as a true inspiration to women our age, I think, rather than the phony, fleeting one that has been served up to all of us for the past few years, in order to keep up the Cougar image. What I’d like to see is all of us being who we really are, in that true spirit of multiculturalism I talked about. Then, if intergenerational love happens, it happens…and it’d be real for a change….maybe it would even last, who knows? But, my gut tells me that it would be the beginning of the end of the Cougar Trend…a trend that would probably fade away on its own for the most part, having run its course. With a few exceptions that fall into the “you don’t choose who you love” category, I think we’d see a better trend…one that is characterized by women coming into their own, no matter what age they are, and going out there and getting everything they truly deserve, romantically and otherwise, with men who are their equals and are mature enough to appreciate authenticity. 

Trading the Cougar Trend for an Authenticity Trend…hmmm….that’s a trend I could promote! 

 

The 6 Greatest T.V. Couples, By The Decade

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Tonight is Emmy night…the evening the world stops and honors excellence in television. As a card carrying member of the television generation, and an unabashed romantic as well, here are my top picks for the greatest t.v. couples of all time, by the decade…

THE FIFTIES

LUCY & RICKY

Despite their separate twin beds, the Latino/Redhead heat between these two was hard to miss…much later in life, I met a real life Lucy & Ricky…my two younger boys’ grandparents! RIP Dorothy & Tony Casas…:*) 

THE SIXTIES

MARSHALL DILLON & MISS KITTY

Did they, or didn’t they? I guess we may never know…but we all loved the hint of romance between Matt Dillon and Miss Kitty, a classic Good Boy/Bad Girl attraction…:-) 

THE SEVENTIES 

THE BRADYS

Mike & Carol…ahhh, the perfect, unrealistic blended family (see, The 80’s, 90’s and 2,000’s)…oh man, did they set us all up for disappointment! 

THE EIGHTIES

MADDIE & DAVID

Sexual tension as plotline on television…and Moonlightling taught us a little something about that, now didn’t it? Once the golden couple actually begins a relationship, the party’s over…

THE NINETIES

ROSS & RACHEL

The One That Taught Us That Maybe Our Soulmate Was There All Along…

THE NEW MILLENIUM

MARY & MARSHALL

Partners…Equals…Lots in common despite being opposite on the surface….hmmm…the perfect couple perhaps? We’ll see! 

Supermassive Sparkly Obsession

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About three things I am absolutely positive. First, I am 45 years old. Second, I probably should be embarrassed that I have seen all the Twilight movies, can’t wait for Breaking Dawn, Part 1 to be released next Fall, have all the Twilight Series books and have read them all cover to cover, and even have an Edward doll sitting on my book shelf next to them–complete with sparkly chest. And third, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Twilight.

As I sit here with my dog, having a rare girls night, polishing our toes….well, my toes anyway. I mean, have you ever tried to polish the toenails of a Chihuahua? Anyway, as we sit here together, I am elated to find Twlight (the first movie) on Showtime! Nevermind that I have it already on DVD, along with New Moon and Eclipse too. Yes, I am hooked, and I probably should be ashamed, but I’m not.


I’ve read most of the articles out there from the feminist perspective, usually promoted on Huffington Post or somewhere like that, that slam this phenomenon, and women like me, for being bad role models for young women. I get where they are coming from and no, I don’t think young girls should strive to be vapid and to give themselves over completely to some man, only to lose who they could become only if they had burned their bras and spent their days reading and quoting the works of Oscar Wilde. I get it, truly I do. I want girls and women to be empowered just as much as the hairy legged braless woman down the street–probably more. This goes way beyond loyalty to my gender…

I’ve thought a lot about why I love Twilight…and, frankly, I get a little nutty every time one of the movies premieres. I probably will again once the long awaited Breaking Dawn finally hits theaters. I’ve felt this way a few other times in my life…first with Gone With the Wind, which I still love, and Under the Tuscan Sun, which Diane Lane played brilliantly. I think I love these movies (and books) for one reason–the pieces of myself that they portray. Scarlett O’hara speaks to my tenacity and ability to “think about that tomorrow”, which has gotten me through more than one life crisis. Under the Tuscan Sun effectively dramatizes that part of me that can, and has, impulsively changed my life because I didn’t have anything to go back to. And Twilight…well, that one takes me back to when I was a lot like Bella–more than just the freakishly pale skin, chocolate brown eyes, and dark hair.


I, too, moved in with my Dad when I was about Bella’s age. I only wish it had gone so romantically…you know, minus the blood letting and terror. And I wish I’d had an Edward of my own to gaze upon in the meadow, not that I ever had a meadow. I guess in the end, I, and probably all the other middle aged women willing to admit that we love Twilight, sort of live out our fantasy teen selves through Bella. And in the movie versions, the perfectly cast Kristen Stewart becomes Bella. And I mean really…who wouldn’t want two totally hot guys fighting over them, one of whom writes classical piano tunes for you, a life of magical adventure, and at the end of the day a great Dad to come home to who supports you unconditionally?


Hmmm…who needs sparkles…wonder if Barbie makes a Chief Swan doll?

Big Blue Ring, Part Two

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With another big Royal Wedding looming on the horizon, I’ve been thinking a lot about the first one we “Yanks” got up early to watch on television–Charles & Diana, of course! This fabulous blog I read this morning by my fellow blogger, “WithyWindle”,  really got me reminiscing. I’m not now, nor have I ever been much of an Anglophile by nature, but I was, at the time of the seemingly magical nuptials of “Lady Di”, a 16 year old girl.  So, I was a goner in the naïve romantic department…not to mention the fact that my great grandmother was staying with us for a couple of weeks at the time and she indeed was a pretty hardcore Anglophile. So much so that she, unlike lazy teen me, actually did get up in the wee hours to watch it all live from the get go. I arose at my usual 10:00 or so, and watched reruns of it—over and over and over, with my Great Grandma Rhodes who had a twinkle in her eye that day…ALL-DAY-LONG…no matter how many times she watched the whole thing with me…rerun after rerun.  

We were both enchanted, of course, and it was an intergenerational bonding experience for us. Now, I am somebody’s grandmother, albeit not quite old enough yet to be a great grandmother—yet. It’s coming soon enough…because the clock ticks for all of us, whether we are aware of it, or whether we choose to accept and embrace it or not. So, as the wedding of William and Kate approaches, I am also keenly aware of how I’ve changed, how much more I know (thank God), and also how jaded I may have allowed myself to become over the years. Knowing what I now know…about the realities of life, and marriage, and how sometimes things just don’t work out…I find myself considerably less starry eyed and romantic about this Royal Wedding. I blame Diana and Charles for this, of course, because their reality disappointed me so as it unfolded before my eyes during the 80’s and 90’s. And frankly, my own reality disappointed me as well…as I looked for love in all the wrong places, had my heart broken more times than I care to recall, and lived out a decidedly un-fairytale like existence…

Despite all the madness that ensued for Charles and Di after that dreamlike day…the bulimia, the affairs, the Squidgy-ness of it all…I allowed myself to become wistful once more, if only for a moment when I listened to a Diana biography on audiobook awhile back. The author described, in great heart wrenching emotional detail, a story of Charles frantically and obsessively searching for his former wife’s gold earring so that she could have it on when he had flown to France to escort her body back home to England after the car crash—he knew she’d want it that way, and he wanted to find it for her. Even though these two people had torn one another to pieces in life, were clearly not meant for one another, this man obviously cared for her, and cared enough to look after her in this very touching, special way. Maybe this is the real fairy tale behind the fairy tales that we are told growing up, and actually believe in until the world teaches us otherwise…that people aren’t perfect, even princes and princesses…and sometimes we never appreciate the people who pass through our lives until they’re really gone…

Well now, enough of that! I intend to keep a stiff upper lip, just like the Brits! I am determined to look forward to this upcoming joyous event, and maybe even become a little twinkly eyed and romantic again as my great grandmother was that day. Surely she had much more call to be far more jaded then than I do now. After all, the woman had lived through women’s suffrage, The Great Depression, two World Wars, and the 60’s—which had to be traumatic for anyone with Victorian sensibilities. I do wish these two lovebirds the best! I think they have a better shot at it than Charles and Diana. For one thing, “Wills” did not have to scour his countryside for the last remaining virgin in the United Kingdom as Charles did. Since that was obviously the criteria, that should have been our first clue that it wasn’t necessarily a real love match. Royal bridal searches have evolved since the late 70’s, early 80’s, thank goodness, and William and Kate were allowed to meet and fall in love over time, just like any other couple. So, they have just as much chance as any other married couple of being happy and having a lifetime together. And there, readers, I will bite my tongue. I am purposely choosing to suspend my disbelief now, rather than being my old 16 year old self who just didn’t know any better. I’ll watch this Royal Wedding this time around with a purposeful twinkle in my eye, just like my great grandmother had for Chuck and Di. Reruns of course, because I haven’t changed that much…

In the meantime, get your wistful on with me and let’s remember when…back before we knew how it all would end….