Category Archives: In the News

Please Join The Bully Project!

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Today, I’m donating space on my blog to promote this film and this movement. Everyone needs to care about this…kids are bullied relentlessly all across this nation every day, even sometimes to the point where they end up taking their own lives. 

Here is the description of The Bully Project copied and pasted directly from their website….

“The Bully Project highlights solutions that both address immediate needs and lead to systemic change. Starting with the film’s STOP BULLYING. SPEAK UP! call to action, The Bully Project will catalyze audience awareness to action with a series of tools and programs supported by regional and national partners.

The Bully Project is a collaborative effort that brings together partner organizations that share a commitment to ending bullying and ultimately transforming society.

Help keep The Bully Project alive by donating to the film’s social action campaign through our nonprofit partner, Creative Visions Foundation (CVF). CVF is a publicly supported 501(c)3, which supports Creative Activists who use the power of media and the arts to affect positive change in the world.  All donations are tax deductible”. 

Click Here To Visit That Nonprofit Organization’s Webpage: Creative Visions Foundation 

A link to the film’s official trailer…Please Watch! 

Finally, a link to the official page for the movement: The Bully Project Please go there, donate your Twitter and Facebook status to the cause for a day, and share this with all your friends and family. 

A lot of attention nowadays goes to bullying of kids who are gay, and that has been wonderful for anti-bullying efforts. Although this is one group of kids who are bullied, it also happens to anyone who is different in any way…special needs kids included. Please care enough to get involved and take action to combat this very real problem! 

The Beginning Of The End Of The Cougar Trend?

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Cougar, Before Cougar Was Cool

A couple of years ago, I wrote a member contribution article for MORE Magazine: Multiculturalism And The Cougar Please don’t be impressed–you shouldn’t be. Anyone who signs up with MORE online as a member can write and submit articles for their online site, so trust me, I’m nothing special there. In the article, I offer my own observations and theories about the so called “Cougar” trend, completely invalid scientifically, as always. I was taking a course in multiculturalism at the time and it occurred to me that while there seemed to be an uptick in middle aged women dating young men that was getting a lot of attention, this particular phenomenon always seemed to be characterized by said middle aged romantic partner looking/acting/being anything but what she really was–a 40+ female. This is a reality which is in direct opposition to the concept of multiculturalism, in which differences are embraced, even emphasized, and thought of as equally desirable to the former ideal. I do this a lot actually when I’m taking a class–when immersed in a lot of hard facts and academic research, I whimsically apply what I’ve learned to pop culture, probably to stave off boredom and narcolepsy during class. This was especially puzzling, albeit entertaining to my decidedly left brained Armenian astrophysicist professor when I took Astronomy during my undergrad adventures. Needless to say, I didn’t take a lot of hard science in school–only what I had to have to graduate. 

At any rate, I thought I was onto something then, and today, with the tabloid and social media rumor mill working overtime to cover a possible Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher split due to his alleged serial cheating with young college aged women, the buzzers are going off again. Now, first of all, who knows if there is truth to this story or not? Nobody, that’s who. None of us knows what really goes on in relationships outside our own, and that goes double for celebrity gossip that is often spun up by tabloid “journalists” on slow days, or even the stars’ own publicists when increased attention is needed to promote this or that new project. This could certainly be the case here, as both halves of this May/December couple have something new to promote right about now. But, that’s not the point. The point is that, given the nature of the Cougar trend, this is a very plausible outcome…

It’s my opinion that in the vast majority of relationships, the Cougar/Cub (god help me) thing is simply not built to last. Certainly, “women of a certain age” can be very attractive, even to much younger men. Why wouldn’t they be? Women who take care of their appearance can be beautiful at any age. And here I’ll insert a very Kelso-esque exclamation–DUH! But, it’s my feeling that a fleeting (and flattering) sexual attraction does not a lasting relationship make. Those natural, healthy differences between people with 15 or more years difference in their ages will always come back to bite them in that body part that you can bounce a quarter off of–in the case of Ashton’s 23 year old alleged girlfriends, that is. This is particularly true when the younger man, as in Kutcher’s case, doesn’t even act his own age (33), instead his public behaviors resemble that of his former television character, Michael Kelso, a high school student who was none too bright to boot. I’m just a couple of years shy of Demi Moore’s age. She’s 48 and I’m 46, and he strikes me as really immature, perpetually partying, punking people sophomoric-ally….cheating or not, living with him and being his wife would get on my nerves pretty quick.

For the past several years, I’ve seen a lot of media that holds this twosome up as some sort of golden couple…a shining example of how and why the Cougar trend is here to stay, and something that middle aged women should aspire to. But, in reality, what I see is that it doesn’t really work as well as they’d like to believe it does. As I covered in my piece for More.com, the only way it works to begin with is if the older female half of the equation spends an indefinite amount of time and energy on convincing herself, and everyone else, that she’s something she’s not. Can a 40+ year old woman be attractive…”hot” even? That goes without saying. Can a 40+ year old woman be happy in a relationship with a man many years her junior, long term? The answer is maybe, but I rather doubt it. And it’s for those reasons I mentioned in the article–an atmosphere of multiculturalism is not yet present when it comes to middle aged women. Meaning those of us willing to admit that we are 40+ in every way, including all the inevitable changes in our looks, our personalities, child-bearing inclinations and capabilities, our entertainment and lifestyle preferences, etc.


Cartoon by Jeff Berry, http://berrystudio.blogspot.com/

The reality is that people do change as they age. A 23 year old woman isn’t really the same as a 43 year old woman, just like a 43 year old woman isn’t the same as a 63 year old woman. And despite what popular media would have us all believe, it really is a rare romantic relationship with a multi year age difference that will work long term without the older woman exhaustively working to be 40+, but look and behave only 18+. And that’s sad, for all concerned. Over the last couple of years especially, I’ve watched Demi Moore age, yet frantically diet and exercise to the point of being thinner than she ought to be, constantly tweet sexy photos of herself, and in general try to project an image that she naturally exuded as a 23 year old–when she was 23. And what it looks like to me is part of an overall futile, and I believe completely unnecessary campaign to hang on to that infamous Cougar/Cub relationship of hers. Not to say that these two don’t have a deep affection for one another, which they may genuinely share. 

This makes me sad because I think Demi Moore is better than this. We all are. I hope that she sees herself as she really is, and lets her middle age flag fly in all its glory. That would serve as a true inspiration to women our age, I think, rather than the phony, fleeting one that has been served up to all of us for the past few years, in order to keep up the Cougar image. What I’d like to see is all of us being who we really are, in that true spirit of multiculturalism I talked about. Then, if intergenerational love happens, it happens…and it’d be real for a change….maybe it would even last, who knows? But, my gut tells me that it would be the beginning of the end of the Cougar Trend…a trend that would probably fade away on its own for the most part, having run its course. With a few exceptions that fall into the “you don’t choose who you love” category, I think we’d see a better trend…one that is characterized by women coming into their own, no matter what age they are, and going out there and getting everything they truly deserve, romantically and otherwise, with men who are their equals and are mature enough to appreciate authenticity. 

Trading the Cougar Trend for an Authenticity Trend…hmmm….that’s a trend I could promote! 

 

Emotions Declared Unethical–Alert The Media! (But Steer Clear of Jack Marshall, Ethics Savant)

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Note to self: Do not rattle cage of linear thinking attack dogs, already foaming at the mouth. Check! 

Yesterday, I was minding my own business, still seething over the Casey Anthony verdict…I took to the internet as I usually do when I’m looking for information, interaction, exchange of ideas, etc. I like to write, so I did what I do best–I wrote about how I was feeling. This led to, as it always does, me following the tags that I use on my posts to see what other people are thinking and writing on the topic(s). And that, my friends, was my first mistake. I happened upon a blog which asserted that the 12 jurors in the trial were “ethics heroes”. I clicked and read it. (Mistake #2) And, because my emotions were running high, I posted a response, at first politely disagreeing with the blogger’s thesis. (Mistake #3, and boy was it a doozie). 

Things deteriorated from there, when the blogger couldn’t tolerate human emotion, and I, coincidentally, happen to have emotion. He seemed to be confusing emotion with stupidity. After it deteriorated, it got ugly. To be fair, I played my part in the mudslinging (yesterday anyway). As is typical of me, when pushed too far, and unfairly so, I lost my temper and got snarky. Before it was over with, I had both corrected his poor spelling, and called him an ass. It was unpleasant, because, believe it or not, I don’t enjoy arguing. But, it’s one of those things that can’t be helped sometimes, particularly when someone is going out of their way to attack you and, for all intents and purposes, telling you that you are stupid for having feelings. 

I had all but forgotten about it, but when I got up this morning and checked my blog stats, I saw an inordinate number of hits–and those hits had originated from his blog. I knew something was up, so I went to check it out. To my surprise (although why I would be surprised after yesterday’s bizarre exchange I have no idea) today’s attack blog was all about me. That’s right, yours truly! This sack of Spock-like insanity had actually taken the time to re-post the major points of my own Casey Anthony blog, refuting each one, logically of course. And he used my blog name a lot too–he seems to be especially confused as to why I can dare call myself witty. LOL

Here’s the thing…I’m obviously not an ethics expert. Nor am I a legal expert. However, I never said I was. I set up this blog to write about a lot of things that I’m interested in. It’s not meant to be a professional blog, and the “offending” blog was actually even tagged “Opinion”. Life is not a math problem…when something like the Casey Anthony verdict happens upon the news scene, people will have emotions about it. That is, if they have emotions to begin with. And sometimes :::gasp::: those emotions will spill over into their blogs if they have one, or comments to news articles, etc. What my logic minded attacker seems unable to fully grasp, however, is that this is normal. And it’s okay. And, most of all, it doesn’t make me or anyone else the “equivalent of Typhoid Mary” <—-my favorite insult…STILL has me rolling! 

To read the attack piece that has now made me famous, or infamous, I guess is a better word, click here: Emotions Are Baaaaad, Logic is Goooood

Okay, well, that’s it for now….stuff to do today….emotions to feel….havoc to wreak! 

Addendum, 7/7/11

If anyone is interested, I’ve found a truly fascinating trail of breadcrumbs…I was feeling upset, but this made it all better 🙂

http://blog.bennettandbennett.com/2010/04/jack-marshall-the-elmer-gantry-of-ethics.html


http://mylawlicense.blogspot.com/2010/04/ethics-alarms-go-off-its-jack-marshall.html

http://myshingle.com/2010/04/articles/ethics-malpractice-issues/ill-take-turkewitz-on-ethics-over-jack-marshall-any-day-of-the-week/


http://blog.simplejustice.us/2010/04/05/cant-take-a-joke.aspx

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Ethics-2216/Phone-Calls.htm <—-I think this one is my favorite!

(Added 7/11/11) http://familyonbikes.org/blog/2010/05/are-we-self-absorbed-parents/

I’m sure there’s more where all that came from (I mean, how could there not be?), but it’s all more than sufficient to assure me that I am in good, and very intelligent company. Bad doggie!!! LOL Life is good! 😀   

“Captain Compliance” 

Where The World Is Headed & Stopping It Before It Gets There

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I read a great blog this morning on Slouching towards Thatcham about man’s inhumanity to man. The blogger referenced this article in the U.K. newspaper, The Telegraph: “Disabled passengers face rising level of abuse on public transport“, and discussed the fact that despite the popularity of dialogue about basic human rights, those same people pretentiously discussing the rights of others seem to throw it all out the window when it comes to their own daily human interactions. That is my overall take on the blog posting, anyway, and for the record, I concur. Hypocrisy abounds in our supposedly civilized countries, his the U.K., and mine the U.S. I often read magazine and news articles about how stressed we all are in our daily lives these days. I don’t disagree, and I also see how that stress and pressure can lead us to be very short with other people, even rude or bordering on abusive at times. But, when we stoop as low as described in the blog and the article, it’s time to stop, reverse course, and vow to do better.

There is a series of commercial spots that run here in the U.S., and maybe other countries as well…not sure. They’re from The Foundation For a Better Life, and each spot features a vignette depicting different values–values which are clearly lacking in our world today in a big way when the disabled are so routinely abused on public transit that it makes the news, and members of Congress seem to think it’s A-okay to not only lie in a big way, but accuse innocent people of internet crimes in the process–all because of an over-concern for the self, which completely eclipses basic human concern for anyone else. 

I’ve picked five of my favorites (all below, click on the photo to watch the spot) but there are lots more on the website, Values.com. Maybe if we all acted a little more like this, we’d act a little less like that.

Maybe we’d…

Make Someone Else’s Day, In Style

Think of Someone Else’s Needs First…

Go Out of Our Way to Do the Right Thing…

Devote Our Time to Helping Others Find Their Way…

And Heal the Hurt in the World Instead of Cause It…

“Today we are afraid of simple words like goodness and mercy and kindness. We don’t believe in the good old words because we don’t believe in good old values anymore. And that’s why the world is sick”. ~ Lin Yutang