Lipstick and Other Drugs…


I don’t wanna go all Nora Ephron on everybody, but

Today was Math Day at Homeschool. I feel bad about myself on Math Day, truly I do. Inadequate all around…as a mother, as a teacher, as a tutor, and most of all, as a mathematician. For it has been cataloged and preserved for all time in cyberspace through previous blogs already that I suck at math. Not only does it not like me, I do not like it, not one little bit. Okay, well that last line was less Nora and more Dr. Seuss, but you get the idea.

So, needless to say, by the time the day was done and I’d left to go pick up my other kid at his school, I was having a really bad day. And it showed

I knew I needed a fix, so I headed to my local dealer. Alright, CVS, but dealer sounds cooler. And I got myself a beautiful, perfectly formed, sealed, brand new tube of lipstick. Ahhhhh…instant relief. I don’t know what it is, but there is something magical about a new tube of lipstick…before you ever use it the first time. When it swivels slowly up to reveal that little gem of bullet shaped gorgeousness my blood pressure goes down, that twitch in my right eye finally stops, and I know that help is on the way. I actually feel the same way about a new tube of lipstick now as I did about a brand new box of Crayola crayons when I was little. It renders me able to shake off those old mistakes outside the lines, and throw out that mixed up broken wax in the old coffee can, to begin anew.

So….I went from looking and feeling like Rosanne Barr scratching herself and screeching out the National Anthem to hostile audience covering its ears and throwing month old tomatoes at me, to looking and feeling like this….

Well, okay, maybe not exactly, but cut a girl some slack, will ya?

And if that’s not enough, there’s always this….

Or if things get really bad, maybe this

<—-With a side of THAT! 😉


“Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God’s final word on where your lips end”. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

3 responses »

    • Thanks, I have been meaning to write on this topic for awhile now and today was THE day. lol I literally have a whole drawer full of lipsticks, so that shows just how many “Bad Math Days” I have…:-)

  1. Pingback: No Way Out On The Road to Cougartown « wittybizgal

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