About three things I am absolutely positive. First, I am 45 years old. Second, I probably should be embarrassed that I have seen all the Twilight movies, can’t wait for Breaking Dawn, Part 1 to be released next Fall, have all the Twilight Series books and have read them all cover to cover, and even have an Edward doll sitting on my book shelf next to them–complete with sparkly chest. And third, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Twilight.
As I sit here with my dog, having a rare girls night, polishing our toes….well, my toes anyway. I mean, have you ever tried to polish the toenails of a Chihuahua? Anyway, as we sit here together, I am elated to find Twlight (the first movie) on Showtime! Nevermind that I have it already on DVD, along with New Moon and Eclipse too. Yes, I am hooked, and I probably should be ashamed, but I’m not.
I’ve read most of the articles out there from the feminist perspective, usually promoted on Huffington Post or somewhere like that, that slam this phenomenon, and women like me, for being bad role models for young women. I get where they are coming from and no, I don’t think young girls should strive to be vapid and to give themselves over completely to some man, only to lose who they could become only if they had burned their bras and spent their days reading and quoting the works of Oscar Wilde. I get it, truly I do. I want girls and women to be empowered just as much as the hairy legged braless woman down the street–probably more. This goes way beyond loyalty to my gender…
I’ve thought a lot about why I love Twilight…and, frankly, I get a little nutty every time one of the movies premieres. I probably will again once the long awaited Breaking Dawn finally hits theaters. I’ve felt this way a few other times in my life…first with Gone With the Wind, which I still love, and Under the Tuscan Sun, which Diane Lane played brilliantly. I think I love these movies (and books) for one reason–the pieces of myself that they portray. Scarlett O’hara speaks to my tenacity and ability to “think about that tomorrow”, which has gotten me through more than one life crisis. Under the Tuscan Sun effectively dramatizes that part of me that can, and has, impulsively changed my life because I didn’t have anything to go back to. And Twilight…well, that one takes me back to when I was a lot like Bella–more than just the freakishly pale skin, chocolate brown eyes, and dark hair.
I, too, moved in with my Dad when I was about Bella’s age. I only wish it had gone so romantically…you know, minus the blood letting and terror. And I wish I’d had an Edward of my own to gaze upon in the meadow, not that I ever had a meadow. I guess in the end, I, and probably all the other middle aged women willing to admit that we love Twilight, sort of live out our fantasy teen selves through Bella. And in the movie versions, the perfectly cast Kristen Stewart becomes Bella. And I mean really…who wouldn’t want two totally hot guys fighting over them, one of whom writes classical piano tunes for you, a life of magical adventure, and at the end of the day a great Dad to come home to who supports you unconditionally?
Hmmm…who needs sparkles…wonder if Barbie makes a Chief Swan doll?